BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: A GUIDE FOR WRITERS.
hey i’m a mental health therapist and writer here on tumblr dot com and i’m back with another “how to write mental health” guide! we’re talking about BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER today because too many people need to learn how to write people with bpd without demonizing them. incidentally most of the characters i actively roleplay on this hellsite have bpd and if you can’t write a fella with bpd without making them Bad after this post, i’ll bite your toes off one at a time and make a funny little windchime out of them!
let’s get started. borderline personality disorder is defined by a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. like all personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is the brain coping with ATTACHMENT TRAUMA. borderline personality disorder is indicated by the following:
- frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment–this does NOT include suicidal or self-harming behaviors.
- a pattern of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. “i love you” one day and “i hate you” the next.
- identity disturbances: unstable self-image or sense of self.
- impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. this does NOT include suicidal or self-harming behaviors. some examples:
- spending money
- sex
- substance abuse
- fighting
- gambling
- disordered eating
- recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behaviors.
- affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood. “affect” refers to how a person presents themself in the world. e.g. someone with “flat affect” carries very little emotion in their face and voice, even if they are very happy or very sad. someone with bpd can be very intense in the way they present their feelings, or they can present their emotions in a maladaptive or inappropriate manner.
- intense dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting at least a few hours and rarely more than a few days.
- chronic feelings of emptiness.
- inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.
- transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. “transient” basically means “comes and goes.”
PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD, EVIL, AND/OR ABUSIVE. i cannot stress this enough. this is the number one way i see people writing characters with bpd and it is incredibly damaging and inaccurate. people with bpd are coping with severe attachment trauma and very frequently also have complex ptsd. folks with bpd are far more likely to be abused than to be the abuser. stop it, stop it, stop it.
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER IS DERIVED FROM ATTACHMENT TRAUMA. attachment trauma refers to parental or caregiver figures not providing adequate care to a person, the attachment to the figure/s being severed, or the attachment figure/s is abusive. think about folks who have lost parents to death, who have been abandoned by parents ( physically or emotionally ), or are in the foster care system. these individuals will learn that people are not there for them and they have to either cling to them tightly or push them away, and to go out of their way to make people like them. if someone does leave them after all this, they are “bad,” so it’s easier to push them out before they, too, can leave.
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER IS FREQUENTLY COMORBID WITH OTHER DISORDERS. as previously stated, many folks with bpd have complex ptsd. in fact, i’ve yet to work with someone with bpd who doesn’t also have complex ptsd. full blown dissociative disorders ( dissociative identity disorder, depersonalization/derealization disorder, etc ), substance use disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and mood disorders are also very frequently found in folks who have bpd. do your research here.
AS ALWAYS, CONSIDER “WHY” YOUR CHARACTER IS ENGAGED IN THESE BEHAVIORS. what purpose did it serve? what happened to them? many maladaptive behaviors begin because, at one point, it worked for the person and kept them “safe” and people don’t just develop personality disorders for the fun of it. if i fawn over this person they will not leave me, and if i push them away first, they cannot abandon me, and it will hurt less. if this person does leave me, i have to get them back, because when people abandon me that means i am bad. if i do not go above and beyond, if i do not do my best, then who am i as a person / what’s the point / i am bad if i don’t do the most.
it is a common misconception that people cannot have more than one diagnosed personality disorder. THAT IS NOT TRUE. while it is uncommon for people to have personality disorders in multiple clusters ( borderline personality disorder is considered a cluster b personality disorder ), it is possible to have more than one diagnosed personality disorder. for example, it’s not unheard of for someone with borderline personality disorder to also have histrionic personality disorder, as they are both cluster b personality disorders. it would be more uncommon for someone to have, say, borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, as avoidant personality disorder is a cluster c personality disorder.
that’s all i’ve got for the time being! shoot me an ask if you have any questions about stuff and as usual, i might add onto this post later. cheers, and happy writing.